You Do Them No Favors

You Do Them No Favors

So let me preface this by saying I am not advocating causing arguments or getting into fights unnecessarily. I had another blog post about that. Nor am I trying to encourage you, or anyone, to view themselves as superior to others in general course.

We’re all flawed mortal creatures who could stand to learn a bit more, especially from those we think we have little to learn from.

OK, on with the story.

A few weeks ago I was talking to my friend’s mother. Being one-point-two billion years old her mother is closer in age to myself than my friend so its not uncommon for me to converse as much with my friends parents as my friends.

In the course of our conversation I mentioned how I am loath to discipline children. I find it difficult to generate the requisite amount of ire required. And she said something so very true, and later so very prophetic. “You do them no favors by not disciplining them.”

You do them no favors.

Man that stuck with me. It’s been circling my head for over a month and something I intended to write about earlier but it never felt the time. Until today.

So, as stated, I work with children. I do not view children as angels, monsters, animals or empty cups. I view them as people. People lacking information and learning emotional control certainly but people none-the-less. It means they can be right or wrong, they can be responsible, they can be taught and they can teach. They have taught me a great deal.

This means they can do wrong, and they can be corrected, and they may need to. So something happened, something that should have been addressed and something I could have ignored. Who would know right, besides me and my conscience?

But what horrible disservice do I do them by not getting involved? A great deal. I re-enforce negative habits, I teach that people may ignore the bad things you do for their own peace of mind. I teach myself not to help when I not only have the means but the responsibility to.

You do them no favors.

So I got involved. I became the villain of this child’s story, even if only for a few minutes so they would understand what not to do. That actions have consequences and being kind is preferable to being mean.

Maybe it will amount to nothing, maybe it will amount to everything. Neither of those things matter. It is my purpose to do the best I can in the moment I have and I did that, I hope.

Sometimes we may be tempted to let things go for our own peace of mind but ask yourself, are you doing them a favor in doing so? Do I need to argue politics at Thanks Giving? Probably not. Do I need to take the keys from my drunk friend? Yes.

I will hand you this tool. If after a contentious interaction with someone you have on their behalf you fel righteous, you probably did the wrong thing. Or acted for the wrong reasons. If you are analytical and hurt, you probably acted with sincere intent. Bear that in mind when you wonder if you are causing harm when you get involved on someone’s behalf.

I hope you’ve found this informative my friends. Thank you for the indulgence and God bless;